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Suddenly everyone has turned health conscious around me.
Poornam setup a Gym in the office ,and every evening I see guys clad in sleeveless t-shirts pumping their muscles , showing off their biceps. Boss is walking fast ( read working hard ) to change his shape from 0. Because of it, those who walk-the-talk with him ends up puffing and panting. Tobby & Sijo wakes up early in the morning and "talks" about going for swimming , to get back into shape . Shameer stopped smoking and is into chewing gums these days. Suresh is voicing his desire to stop smokng, a desire he cherishes from the time he started smoking .
Jagan is one of my friends in college. Jagan has this special ability in getting hospitalised for a week for two every year. From the time I knew him , he had been consistent in it , if not improving in number of days in hospital. If you have heard of any diseases , believe me, Jaggu might have been affected by it atleast once , but for AIDS ( He'll conquer that too once) . And when Jagan sent me this mail forward , I couldnt stop myself from smiling.
HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
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Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and
corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an
efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain?
Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy
vegetable).
And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of
vegetable products.
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Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that
means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the
goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
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Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If
you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
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Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise
program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!
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Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In
fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for
you?
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Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
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Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO . Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!
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Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
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Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
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Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And remember:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming "WOO HOO, What a ride ...!!"
Any Takers ???
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