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I knew that , there would be a lot of questions from my close family members, uncles and aunts about my recent trip and conference. I had an extra leap in every stride I took and an extra smile when saying hi to everyone. It was going to be my moment.
Uncle was the one who started , “ Aah , nee vanno ?” ( Oh , you back ? )
“Yes. Last week”, I replied gearing up for the shower of questions about conference and places I visited.
“appol, paper upayogikkan padichu alle ?” ( So, you learned how to use paper , eh ? )
That was not the question I was expecting , so it took me sometime to grasp what he meant. The pride on my face turned to an “embarrassed smile” , when it dawned on me that uncle was referring to “Tissue Paper”. Of all the questions possible , he was only curious about how I went to toilet.
Others in the crowd who over-heard uncle's question jumped in at the opportunity . Soon I was flooded with questions , but none of them were regarding conference or places I visited.
“Tell me , do you feel clean after using paper ?” , “How exactly do you use it ?” .
Its not that I had any difficulty or shyness in responding to such questions. What worried me was that , the people are always curious to know whats happening inside the closed door of a toilet , than in an open conference room crowded with people.
Well, on a hindsight I remember asking the same questions to friends who had travelled to foreign countries. The curiosity was there in me too. I remember going through the “Ask me” site and Googling to know how exactly I should use a tissue paper. Infact, I was prepared mentally to handle the situation when I travel. When the opportunity came, tt was all about putting the theory into practise.
However, there was something Google and other Guru's didn't teach me. And my bad, I had to learn it the hard way.
It all started in the Emirates flight to London , soon after the meals was served. I am not sure , if its the quality of the meal or the huge quantity of the meal which caused it . What ever be the reason, by the time I finished my meals , I could see a queue forming infront of lavatory. Half an hour later the scene was no different infront of the toilet . I would have use it too , but refrained from ruining the self esteem standing in a queue to toilet. 90 minutes later, I decided to let go off my ego.
I've never stood in such a long queue to enter a toilet, in my entire life. There was a big guy infront of me , who was constantly fidgeting. When the person infront of him was using the toilet, big guy turned to me and asked with anger on his face, “Why is he is taking so much time ?” . Uh , as if I'm supposed to know that.
After a while, I wondered if I could just open the flight doors and do it in the open sky. It would have been fun. Having attended many a camps in school days, I'm trained do it under an open sky. Later in my life, bike travels made sure that I get used to doing it where-ever possible. Only point to keep in mind is , your private sounds should be audible only for yourself. If at all any sound was produced, I usually drown it in a beautiful sound of a flowing stream or the thad-thad of my bike's engine which would be idling on stand.
Right from my childhood days, I've been taught to refrain from making any private sounds in public places, even if its snoring. Well , snoring is bad , but not as bad as when it comes through the other end of food pipe. I'm aware of some friends who can make that sound when they want to and where they want to. However, I never attempted such a fiasco, neither did I find it funny. One's private sound is one's own and shouldn't be used in a way to cause embarrassment to others. So whenever I use toilet, I usually use a open tap-bucket combination to create acoustic effects to drown what ever private sound is produced.
So , there I was standing in a queue waiting for my opportunity to use the toilet. There were atleast 5 other angry people , ladies and gentlemen whom the nature called, standing behind me. I wondered what they would do to me , if I take a minute more than the imaginary time limit they have set for the process. Will they give me an angry look when I walk out , or will they just take a knife and cut me to pieces ?
Once inside the toilet , which only had space for me to keep my two feets together , I looked around for a method to handle the acoustics. Tap-bucket solution was straight away discarded as there was no bucket , and even worse, the tap in the washbasin was of highest quality that water flowing out of it did not produce any sound. This was one of those moments when you hate quality. I hoped that the jet engines of the flight was loud enough , but the sound of the kid standing right outside the door put my hopes to rest. I've never been under so much pressure before in my life. To do or not to do was the biggest question.
Finally , the queued up people won the tug of war. I walked out , without doing anything. For the first time , I could use the words for its real meaning “I haven't done a $*** today.”
Heathrow airport is so huge , but the toilet doors are so small. Guess its made for people who are taller than 6 ft. I was not sure if people outside could see me half naked, and it wasn't even the better half of nakedness. Never-the-less, I was happy that men's rest room was more or less empty when I reached . I took a corner seat, to avoid disturbing whomsoever walks in to the room. Here again , there was no bucket-tap solution available , but I was aware that nobody is in an audible range. I finally did it.
Just when I was winding it all up , I heard someone walking to the next door . Few seconds later , the entire rest-room rattled as if a thunder struck . As if that was not gross enough , a huge feet intruded into my private space. Perhaps the person other door was in a moment of trance that came out of relief. Looking at the size of the feet, I could see that the first thunder was just a beginning. I gathered my clothes and zipped up to escape. Any further delay would result in severe ear damage or even death due to hyperventilation.
That day , I escaped unscathed. Never to return again , to any public toilets when I travel.
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. But when i
. i could
I don't get it... You dont use toilet paper? I am
