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Every morning , when I pull off the cover from my face .. I see the day staring into my eyes. The same old day , that brings with it, the haunting daymares ( nightmares are much better ) . The same old bike , the same old work , the same old people .... aaargh . I need s'thing interesting to make my body rise from the comforts of bed . I need an aim , a goal, a destination that'll make me work for it .
My room-mate suggested that I meet somebody to sort out my problem . He kept the address of the person inside my purse , while I was sleeping in a semi-oblivious state. Thanks buddy , but I don't think that a psychologist would be able to help me out.
I talked to my boss about the mid-life crisis, and he says I should come out of my cocoon and start meeting people. There are a lot of issues which you have not seen, which will make your worries next to nothing . To hell with the worries ... I'm tired of seeing only issues and worries of others .Why did God make me so perfect that I don't have any problem. ;-) . Why cant I cry and smile like others .
Then I had a funda session with a
person , who will be henceforth called as Mr K (bcoz K hates any hype or publicity). Why it is "Mr K" and not Mr A or Mr X ? Well, you should ask Matthias Ettrich , why KDE is called KDE and not ADE or XDE ? . Being a linux user , I'm close to KDE, Koffice, Kjots , Knotes ..etc. So K is "the alphabet". Lets get back to Mr K before I lose track .
On meeting, I straight away felt jealous of Mr K , because he has
this exceptional skill of keeping him worked up on daily basis. Every
other day I find him shouting at someone, or getting angry for some
reason or running around to get something done. And look at me
flowing placidly with nothing. I was asking Mr K, why after all these
years he is still able to move at 140 Kmph. For next 2 hours , he
gave an awe-inspiring discourse on why chaos is the best state of
equilibrium. I'll try my best to paraphrase the logical thought
that changed my whole outlook to life.
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Consider a pendulum in an idle state.
The kinetic theory states that a pendulum in idle state is at its
best state of equilibrium. But K's theory gives a totally different
perspecitive to it. It defines the state of idle pendulum as the
“state with maximum insecurity or risk” . A small wind can
jeopardize the pendulum's state. So its always in state of danger,
or hazard.
Now, consider a pendulum which is moving to and fro. Its not in any state of danger as its already moving in positive and negative direction. There is no feel of unworthiness due to idleness , and there is no fear of wind that could change its idle state. So a pendulum should be moving inorder to be in its best state of security.
This is true in the case of any
individual. As long as your life is smoothly flowing, you are in a
state of danger. What could be done about it ? Create chaos . And when there is no reason for a chaos , find reasons to create chaos. So you'll be always in a happy world. Thats what K's theory is all about. Chaos is the best state of being.
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But how can you create chaos out of nowhere . Here are few examples Mr K quoted..
If you usually go to office on
bike at 60 Kmph , start going at 80 Kmph .
If you sit on a computer daily,
change your machine.
If you see somebody waiting for
someone else , fire both of them .. one for waiting and later for
making other person wait.
If you like listening to soft
melodious A R Rehman hits , try listening to hard rock and metal
which you always hated .
These are just few of the examples that
he quoted. Just change the pace , or change the gear at which you do
things and you'll automatically create chaos and thereby bring in
happiness in your life.
However , there is a limit to the chaos
state , which an individual will encounter. What happens when his
days become engulfed in problems . It could break that individual ,
especially the weak ones. Mr K also has a short cut for such meager
mortals. I'm publishing it without asking his prior permission.
It is also possible that, few small or petty issues keeps you agitated. This happens to me too. I just know that there are n number of issues that are bothering
me and one feels like a total mess, before you quantify it.
What I do is, just sit down, relax & write down all crazy issues one can think off ( including the latest fling you have ;-) ). Its very important here, how sincere you are to yourself or how bold you are to write down your mind. Try going as deep as possible, take your time, this itself is part of the healing process and then it would look like
1. One or two solvable major issues, within your limits.
2. Some issues absolutely minor, which you can laugh it off :-) ( less brake for bike or ironing clothes ), and
3. Some long pending issues which needs more time and is beyond your absolute control.
we just need to make a road map to solve this 3rd grade issue, probably a plan of action, as these cannot be solved over night and will keep irritating you
unless, you yourself absolutely feel that you have actually started working on this, may be an initiation like making a phone call which you had been planning for long, would kick start and make the ball start rolling, could solve this, you know what I mean.
I think every person who think & live independent goes through these, its all
part of growing up :-) . And the last thing one should worry about is the destination. If you start everyday with the question , where am I going today then its better that you don't wake up. Destination is not whats important, what matters is the journey , the ups and downs and how you carry yourself through the ups and downs.
Mr K validates the last point by asking us about our school days or college days. The destination for us was definetly getting a degree certificate or a job through campus interview. But do you cherish that moment ? No .. We cherish the days when we gharaoed the principal for changing the exam date. We cherish the fights and politics and heartbreaks. The destination become obselete , and the journey becomes the only worthwhile happening.
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“ The Journey is my destination ” .. Vibhu
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So friends, let you be the one who never knows the direction of the journey until you have arrived. Create chaos and march forward.
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